Food means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Some people associate food with their culture, enjoyment, and happiness. Others associate it with binging, poor body image, guilt and shame. No matter what your relationship with food is, one thing that is clear is that we need food to survive and thrive. Without quality food supply, everything else becomes a struggle.
Throughout my lifetime my relationship with food has trained drastically. In this blog we’re going to go through my personal history with food, which I’m sure is definitely not a story unique to me and one in which many people can relate to.
Overindulgence
The story of my childhood. As a child and up until my late teens I was extremely picky and ate little other than chicken nuggets, chips and sweet treats. Like many children or teenagers, it was a massive challenge to incorporate any variety into my diet. I know a lot of people would say ‘just put the plate in front of him and if he’s hungry enough he’ll eat it’. I don’t think shaming parents is the best way forward though, as the likelihood is in most cases, they want the best for their child.
I had minimal protein and micronutrients in my diet until I was about 17. The amount of saturated fat and added sugar I ate was nauseating and it makes me feel ill to even think about having that same diet now. Whenever something slightly bad happened, I would turn to comfort food and use it as an emotional crutch.
Eventually, binging and indulgence transitioned to limitation and restriction.
Excessive restriction
As I got older and puberty strook, body image became more of an issue. You start spending more time around those you’re sexually attracted to, and your friends start getting into relationships. Your self-worth starts to be based primarily around what you look like.
There was a stage during my teenage years where I lost about 3 stone in 3 months. Healthy? No. Sustainable? Definitely not. All I ate for a period of 3 months was Special K and Avonmore Protein Milk. Probably about 1,000 calories per day for a male who was about 5’10 and quite active. The objective at the time was to lose weight, so it was a success in my eyes.
However, health and energy levels were at an all-time low.
At this stage my BMI was extremely low, yet I could not even do one body weight push up. Strength and muscle mass were non-existent. I realised this was a problem, so I started doing some home body weight workouts and started eating a bit more to keep the hunger at bay. I gradually started incorporating more fruit into my diet, but the thoughts of vegetables at this stage still made me gag.
After I finished my Leaving Cert, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis (see blog here), which led to further weight loss and further food restriction. I was googling diets to help control symptoms (don’t do this at home, instead see a qualified dietician) and ended up restricting the majority of what I was eating. No gluten, no dairy, no fibre – what the fuck was left?
Tracked to a Tee
As I gradually educated myself more and more on nutrition, health and exercise, my overall diet improved. I went through a phase of thinking multiple protein shakes a day were healthy, but that was put to an abrupt stop by my gut health.
I started tracking calories and macronutrients on MyFitnessPal - let the obsession begin. For someone who struggled with food and body image issues for years prior, in hindsight strict calorie and macronutrient tracking may have not been the best option for me. However, I did see good results with it – my overall diet improved significantly and I gained over 20kg in weight in the space of 4 years, with a combination of improved nutrition, managing my illness, and resistance training. That period of tracking was really helpful in certain ways, and allows me to eat intuitively to this day as I have a very good knowledge of what I’m eating and what it contains.
Fuelling for health, performance and enjoyment
I eventually stopped tracking everything I ate because it was taking a massive toll on me mentally. I don’t regret the period of tracking and I think most people should do it at some stage (there are exceptions, i.e. history of eating disorders). My view on and my relationship with food has progressed massively in the last few years.
Instead of viewing it as vehicle for cutting or bulking, I now see it as a way to fuel my body and brain for health, performance and enjoyment. Having a quality, well-rounded diet helps me to manage my illness, which in turn improves all other aspects of my life – from fitness to work to personal relationships.
Food allows me to have good energy and concentration levels to be able to work. It provides me with fuel to workout. It provides the building blocks to help me recover after training or a tough day. It is a way of bonding with people I’m close with. It is a source of personal enjoyment. It is a source of comfort.
Food is so much more than just calorie deficit and calorie surplus, bulking or cutting.
You can eat all the foods you enjoy in moderation and still have a well-rounded diet which supports your goals and your life.
Improving your education on food and your relationship with food will help your quality of life massively in the long-term.
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